Cat Calling

I've been telling some friends for a while now that I'm going to write a book regarding the hilarious cat calls of New Orleans--mainly because there are so many awesome ones, but also because I want to be punny and use my name in the title. Now, a book may not be in the works anytime soon, so I figured a blog post will suffice.

Let me start by saying the men of New Orleans are not shy. Definitely not shy. If they like you, they will tell you. If they want to talk to you, they will initiate it. If they want to marry you, they will propose. And believe me, I'm not tooting my own horn and saying "Oh my gosh I'm so pretty everyone wants to talk to me." No. If you are decently attractive they will hit on you. Actually, you don't even need to be decently attractive--you just need to be a woman (and I'm not even entirely sure that that is a required criteria).

This morning I heard a good one. On my bike ride from the ferry to work, a man said to me, "Oooooeeeeeee you riding that bike girl. I wish I was your husband." Now, I'm not sure how those two thoughts have anything to do with each other. How did you go from complimenting my bicycle riding to proposing to spend the rest of your life with me? It's quite the jump. But I will admit, I ride a mean bicycle.

My biggest mistake thus far in New Orleans is not writing down cat calls as they come, especially because I have a terrible memory. But I guess that means the ones I remember are the cream of the crop. For instance, one of my first weeks down here, on my walk home from work, someone stopped me and said, "Damn, God was having a good day when he made you." Things I like about this compliment: Clever, appropriate, and flattering. If you think about it, that is actually a really great compliment to give someone, so don't be surprised if you hear me utter something of the sort the next time I compliment you.

Another one of my favorites was not necessarily a cat call, but definitely one of my favorite moments. A few weeks ago I was riding my bike home through Central City (which if you know anything about New Orleans, you know it's not the nicest of neighborhoods). But don't worry, I am always properly equipped with pepper spray and a pocket knife (thanks dad!). Anyways, there is a particular corner where a bunch of guys are always hanging out, especially around the time I leave work. On that day, as I was rising past, one of them pointed to me and yelled, "Look! A white woman!" The reaction was even better: most exclaimed, "What! Where?!" I just laughed, waved, and kept cycling along my merry way.

Another one was also on my way home from work (there seems to be a trend here). I was walking past a group of homeless people sitting on the steps outside of a Family Dollar. As I walked by, one man said to me, "I love you." I smiled and waved and said "thank you." One of the women that he was with said, "I'm sorry, he's on a lot of medicine right now and doesn't know what he's saying." A little peeved, the man looked at the woman and said, "Yes I do, I love her so much."

I don't specifically remember the wording of others, but I can tell you that if I would have wanted to be, I could definitely have been married several times over since I've moved here. It's good to know I have options. Luckily I'm dating someone who picked me up with his good looks, charm, and lack of beer pong skills, rather than creepy shout outs on the streets. But I definitely commend those bold enough to get shut down in broad daylight on some of New Orleans busiest streets. Touche, men.

So ladies, if you're feeling gloomy, unloved, unattractive, or just having a bad day, book a flight to New Orleans! I promise I can have you engaged by the time you leave, no matter how long your stay is. Or at the very least, this place will boost your self esteem.